Have you ever imagined having a baby who will not hesitate to yell or scream when they get out of your arm? Baby cries when he's not held is not a new phenomenon to most parents. High-need babies will make you have different thoughts regarding your parenting and even how you relate with them. Their behavior may just be disgusting to some parents especially new parents who may not be familiar with such acts. What people seem not to understand is that at one time, they may have been the same. A good parent should know and understand how to handle high-need babies since they are just babies like any other.
My Baby Cries When Not Held—Is It Normal?
High-need babies will probably want to be held in their parent arms every time. The soothing motion of their parents’ body is what they are accustomed to since the time they were in the womb. These babies will ultimately crave for touch or any contact with their parents body such as in your arms, at your breasts or even in bed. High-need babies will extract any physical contact from their caregivers. They will not only crave for touch but also motion. For instance, they will need to be moved in a slow constant motion whenever possible even when you are sitting down. New parents, who are not used to this, may find it a challenge to deal with their high-need babies. The parents’ bodies and arms are their crib. Therefore, these babies will want to be always held by their parents since they like to be up where action is or else they will keep on crying.
Here is a short piece of an animation video to show you clearly the reasons why your baby wants to be held all the time:
What to Do If My Baby Cries When Not Held
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Methods |
Descriptions |
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Be patient and persistent |
When your baby is held every time, they will develop the habit of being held always. The baby will cry every time they are not held. Hence, you need to be patient with your baby and also persevere a lot. |
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Put your baby down for a few minutes |
To break off the habit of your baby crying when not held, you can start by putting the infant down either on a play mat or a bouncy chair. You can start with a few minutes while you stay close and pick them when they show crying signs. |
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Try a few times each day |
You can do these a couple of times each day, especially when the baby is well rested and happy. Gradually you can extend the time you leave your baby to stay in the play area. |
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Ask others to do the same |
Try to use other people in your household to keep the baby down to ensure that the baby does not get used to one person or you doing it. The baby will get used to being put down by anyone. |
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Use toys |
Finally, you can use toys with contrast in colors such as black and white which are suitable for young infants. For older infants, toys with flashing lights or those which make noise are good. These can keep your baby occupied when put down. |
Important Notes:
There are two main transitional measures you can try for your baby. First, you can curdle the baby until she gets so sleepy; this way they will not have the chance to protest on lying them down. Secondly, try to use a compromise kind of contact which makes it easier to adapt when you put them down from your arms.
More Tips on Handling the Problem That Baby Cries When Not Held
1. Learn to Say “No” to Your Baby
When you feel like you have reached your wits end with your baby, you can send them to a park with the father or even a friend; this makes the baby not to get used to you so much. After these, you can then sit down with your journal. Through writing, you can examine your feelings and parenting. This helps you to focus on the good side of your baby rather than negatives.
2. Always Be Positive
Some of the parents will have negative initial feelings with their high-need babies such as “won’t settle,” “doesn’t sleep,” or “stubborn”. they will not see any positive aspect that may be embedded in their child. As a parent, all you need to know is that your high-need baby will eventually be your best if you start focusing on the positive sides of them.
3. Be Flexible
It is better to be flexible as you discover that there are more realistic expectations with your baby. You should contain yourself and go with the flow as the baby passes such stages which are eminent with every child. Don’t waste time focusing on small issues since they can take care of themselves.
4. Do Not Compare
If your child behaves differently from the rest, some parents will try to compare them with the other children. This can whittle away any confidence in your child and you can take it as your parenting fault. When you avoid comparison trap, you can view your child objectively. It reduces the judgment aspect and you become more realistic with your child.
